Why didn't he call you back? Why doesn't he talk to your friends? Why does he keep putting off your dates? This book has the answers.

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Pick up the main ideas with this quick summary. You are better off detaching yourself from guys who cannot fully commit to a relationship. Men still hold the great majority of the top positions in businesses and companies.

They obviously know how to handle an office full of employees, so why do most women still trick themselves into believing that these men are simply unable to pick up the phone and ask them out? In the end, men have no problem getting what they want.

If he is really into you it will show, because he will make an effort and actively pursue you in an attempt to win you over. To support these claims, the authors polled 20 of their male friends between the ages of 26 and 45 who were in committed, long-term relationships.

The results showed that none of these relationships began with the women asking them out. Actually, one of them said that if his girlfriend would have done so, it would have ruined the fun for him. Although they manage to convince themselves this is true, in reality, no man is too busy to pursue what he wants. The results of the same poll indicated that percent of the men surveyed were never too busy to call the women they had a genuine interest in. The start of a relationship is often very confusing.

After all, if a man is into a woman, he will want her just for himself. The only way to win her over and make sure that happens is by asking her to be his girlfriend. According to the poll conducted by the authors, percent of the men questioned said that they were never held back by fear of intimacy from starting a new relationship with a woman they were really into.

In fact, one man ridiculed this so-called fear of intimacy as being nothing more than an urban myth. In the early stages of a relationship, another sign of disinterest you should keep an eye out for is when a guy who is not interested in having sex with you.

Most of these women take their excuses to heart, declare them free from guilt and take the blame instead — even if this is not the way they should respond at all! It can also happen that one partner has a higher sex drive.

The best approach to handling these obstacles is by having an honest conversation with your partner and respectfully address these issues. Many end up humiliating and betraying their partners by being unfaithful to them. If a guy ever treats you like this, acknowledge that this type of behavior does not belong to a man who respects and appreciates you.

Save yourself the sorrow by ending the relationship and finding someone who treats you better. In the reverse situation, women who are dating married men also find excuses for their behavior. The reality is that a relationship built on trust and good intentions cannot be kept a secret. To string her along, a married man might tell a woman that he is not ready to end the marriage yet because he doesn't want to put his children through the ordeal of a divorce.

What you should be doing instead is looking for someone that you can openly be with; find an emotionally available man, rather than a conflicted one stuck in a marriage. After a guy breaks up with you, you may hope that he will give you a call just to say how much he misses you. If he does contact you, the best thing you can do for yourself is to hang up and move on. Even if he does text, email or call. He might even say that he misses you, but if he was still into you, he would do his best to win you back.

One of the reasons women try to contact guys who have suddenly disappeared is because they want to know the reason why that happened. If you try to contact him, the only thing you will achieve is making his silence louder.

With that in mind, finding the love of his life is a game-changer for a man. Another problem that you might be thinking about while waiting for your partner to propose marriage is that your biological clock is running out of time.

Nevertheless, during this period, some women tend to put a lot of energy into activities and thoughts that are a waste of time. Many women end up binging on unhealthy, unrealistic happily-ever-after stories. Eventually, he reaches out to her and all of a sudden they are together and madly in love. Another story is about the guy who treated her hideously at the beginning of the relationship, but now they have two children and are happily married.

These stories are nothing more than a waste of time, as they keep you stuck and unable to heal. Of course, there are some exceptions to the rule. Another thing to consider after ending things with a guy who was not that into you is how great and liberating it feels to be out of such a negative relationship. Constantly making excuses for someone and trying to figure him out takes a colossal amount of emotional energy.

When you no longer have to waste time obsessing over him and how to make the relationship work, you can engage in more positive activities, like meeting up with friends or going to yoga classes. Many women try to find excuses for men who are acting disrespectfully. The most empowering move you can make is to stop wasting your time and get out of the relationship.

Listen to the tape and try to imagine that a good friend of yours is actually telling the story. What would you say to her? Would you tell her she can do better? If you liked this book summary, check out our other articles Purpose. Remember how your Emotions can Influence Others. Your romantic connection is just a fantasy. It's better to do the thing than not do the thing. Suspend the habit of judgment.

Learn how to understand and navigate your emotions. Effective communication. By knowing nothing, we learn everything. Take ownership of your life. It took admitting that I was lost.


He's Just Not That Into You : The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

For ages, women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men. He just got out of a relationship. And there are no mixed messages. And then set yourself loose to go find the one who is. Comedian Greg Behrendt was a consultant for three consecutive seasons on Sex and the City. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife and daughter. She is currently living and dating in New York City.


Greg Behrendt

Gregory Behrendt born July 21, is an American comedian and author. Greg Behrendt graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in theater from the University of Oregon in , though initially he had enrolled to be a business major and to play rugby. After graduation, Behrendt moved to San Francisco, where he joined an improvisational troupe, and met fellow comic Margaret Cho. In his early years, he performed comedy and improv in San Francisco. He was a member of the improv troupe Crash and Burn, whose members included Margaret Cho.

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